So Thanksgiving is next week. Awesome. I don't understand why this family can't just have a normal Thanksgiving anymore. The last... 8 years... have had totally fucked Thanksgivings. Seriously. We've either been at TRF freaking CAMPING...which.. don't get me wrong I like camping.. but not for Thanksgiving. OR I've been in another state alone. This year? We aren't going to TRF... no instead, I get to get up before dawn, cook a turkey, and take it out to Thousand Trails where mom works, to do Thanksgiving there, at 10 am. Really? *sighs*, then Christi has to work so I'll probably spend the rest of the day sitting in my room pretending it's not Thanksgiving. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate the holidays? Because I really do. Oh, you know what last Thanksgiving wasn't so bad, we did it at Christi's when she lived in Waco... but even that wasn't normal. Then again, what's really normal? I don't know.. I just really hate the holidays. After Halloween... seriously the rest of the year can pretty much suck it as far as I'm concerned. I hate Thanksgiving, I hate Christmas... I REALLY hate Christmas. It's so depressing. I'm alone, and miserable and... it just sucks. Just thinking about it is bumming me out like whoa. I want a puppy. With a bow. Lol. A fluffy one, that's gonna be big.
So onto other awful subjects. Boys. Jesus, sometimes I really hate my life. Why does no one like me? Am I really that much of a pain in the ass? And I swear, I'm so sick of hearing the same shit over and over from different people. Why can't they just be more upfront. "I just don't like you." would go a long way with me. Rather than "I don't wanna just jump into anything." Or "I'm not looking for a relationship" and then turn around and talk about how lonely you are. Fuck you. Seriously. It's not like I want to marry your ass. I don't ever wanna get married again.. I just want someone to hang out with, that I can at least tolerate being around, who will talk to me, and cuddle with me, and have sex with me regularly. Is that REALLY so difficult? That isn't THAT much to ask I don't think... and although I've gotten pickier about who I can tolerate being around... seriously I'm pretty low maintenance most of the time. Mostly, because I just don't give a shit about anything. You know I haven't cried, REALLY cried... In weeks. I'm much happier since I moved out. But I'm thoroughly annoyed I can't find a damn boyfriend. Seriously it's not like you even have to take me out or anything.. just come hang out with me, chat... watch TV or something.. occasional sex.. maybe spend the night every once in a while... Low maintenance. I don't get it. I'm just sick of being alone all the damn time. And I get that I can be needy as hell... but really who isn't? But whatever I guess. I give up. I'm not longer speaking to anyone of the male persuasion anymore unless they talk to me first. You can all just go fuck yourselves as far as I'm concerned.
There is one in particular I like a lot... pretty sure that one is lumped with all the rest. Zero interest in me. Whatever. I don't even fucking care. I don't even know why HE is the one I attached to... I mean.. he's really cute.. and amuses me.. I like being around him and stuff.. but... I dunno. The whole situation is just really stupid and irritating to me. I don't wanna talk about that. I'm gonna get mad lol.
New house is great. Like I said, I'm much happier here. I dunno why really.. maybe because there's always someone to talk to or hang out with... my room is really bright because of all the windows... I get to see Puck more often and play with him. It's pretty awesome. I can walk to work.. and I do... everyday. Plus Rhayvn and I have been walking in the afternoons, that's been fun. I like hanging out with her. Even though I'm about 90% sure she thinks I'm batshit crazy.. but hey, I'm fun! Lol. Puck seems happier too. He always has someone to play with or to pet him. He's so sweet. So much sweeter than Christi and Michael's cats haha. Plus, I like living in town. Dunno why.. Just do. I like sitting on the porch with Christi and/or Rhayvn and watching the cars go by lol. It's oddly relaxing.
I like Taylor Swifts new album. It's pretty cool. At least like.. 8 out of the 16. Lol.
Oh! Dustin is probably coming home from boot camp in the next two weeks. I can't wait to see him! He's so full of awesome, and I've missed him a lot. He's fun. Lol.
Anyway.. I dunno what else to say really. I'm pretty bummed about the boy situation... and the stupid holidays.. but other than that, I'm good. So guess I'll go for now.
Brandi
