Blessed by your genetics, you possess a certain aesthetic charm. But something's diconnected and you're quite capable of causing harm. Your malice is volcanic, your insecurity titanic, your mood is always manic and I do suppose this masquerade's become a habit.

Eve 6 - Pick Up The Pieces.

So I heard some of Eve 6's new music the other day. I really love Victoria, and this song, Pick up the pieces. They're really great. But I've always loved Eve 6.

So things have been really good. I didn't win the lottery, but that's okay because other really great things have happened. I might have a job at the Mclennan county jail.. (I really really hope so) and that would be amazing. But on top of that, apparently my car insurance had been over charging me for the past 3 years and I got a 500 dollar check from them, which went for new tires for my car. It was pretty epic. Things really are great. I just feel better. I've not had a REALLY bad day in a long time. I have annoyances but they don't last too long. I actually almost feel like a normal person even. And that's really amazing.

Also, I quit therapy roughly a month ago. I don't think I need it anymore. And I've been doing really great without it so I guess I wasn't wrong. :)

The only thing really that's been not so good, Puck got sick. But he's better now so that's good. Only apparently he gave whatever he had to my brother in laws old ass cat Buster, who's like 18 years old. I'm gonna feel like crap if he dies. But I did tell Michael that Puck was sick. There's no justifying it, if Buster dies, it's my fault. Also, I'm stressing a bit about that job because I really want it. Also I'm evidently the town pariah now. lol. But that last part I'm not really worried about. I literally don't care at all.

So I'm sure you'll all be thrilled to death to know that with my new found feeling betterness, I've also sworn off men. I really don't see the point of them. They're warm... and they can be nice. But honestly, no man has ever really been THAT nice to me. And I see now reason to put up with their bullshit anymore. I don't need anyone but me. And I'm finding, that realization is helping me a LOT to feel better. Who the hell needs them. I'm just going to worry about me, and move on with life. Because I feel like I've been asleep for 25 years, and I've finally woken up. And it feels amazing.

I don't regret marrying Jon. I think in a way, it was probably the best move I've ever made. I hurt him, and he hurt me. And I know that it was probably total hell for him all the time. But for me... It woke me up. I see things more clearly now. I know what needs to be done, and I'm doing it. I gained a sense of responsibility that I really needed and I'm on my way to starting my life, which should have been started a LONG time ago. It's cool though, better late than never right? I am a little lonely, but it's bearable. I can handle it. Because I know that soon enough everything will fall into place, and I won't have time to be lonely.

I can't really think of anything else to say. Things are really great. Puck is getting better, I might have an awesome new job, I found tremendous new music, my parents are being nice to me, everything is good. I feel like I'm almost where I'm supposed to be.

Oh! And Becky is engaged!!! Congratulations Becky! I'm so happy for you :-D! Her ring is so pretty too. I wish her all the happiness in the world.

Well I need to go to bed. Night! <3

Brandi