To me, you're strange and you're beautiful. You'd be so perfect with me, but you just can't see. You turn every head, but you don't see me. I'll put a spell on you. You'll fall asleep, and I'll put a spell on you. And when I wake you, I'll be the first thing you see, and you'll realize that you love me.

Strange and Beautiful - Aqualung

Happy Halloween!!! Wish I could say it was. But the only thought I seem to be capable of at the moment is " SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!!! FUCK! SHIT! SON OF A BITCH!!!! AHHHHHH"

Think I messed up. Which is nothing new, I fuck up all the time. But I may have REALLY fucked up this time. I'm waiting... maybe I didn't. Maybe it'll all be okay. But I can't ignore this sinking feeling, that says it's irreparable. But I wasn't mean to anyone this time. It wasn't me getting mad and blowing up. My temper is fully in check. FUCK.

Lol... I keep like... staring off into space and thinking... and the end of every thought... not even the end because I can't seem to have complete sentence thoughts, ends in swearing. Most of the morning was me muttering to myself "son of a BITCH". Apparently I've moved on to "fuck." but it's more drawn out... more like fuuuuuuuccccckkkkk. UGH. Please please please please please don't let me be right about this. Please say I didn't fuck up horribly. Please please please please please. I'll do anything. Just someone make it okay. I need to be slapped. Seriously. Who does this shit!? God but it was... fuck! Ahhhh!!!!

I gotta go. Have a good day... shit...

Brandi


***Update
So everything is fine. Per usual I was freaking out over nothing. So why am I so depressed now? I didn't want it to go bad... I'm glad it's fine...I feel....defeated though. =(