Mz. Hyde - Halestorm
So it's been a little while since I've written. A lot has happened.. thus is life. Things are a bit foggy lately, though I welcome it... but I'll get to the points I remember.
I'm 27 now. I freaked out a little bit when it happened. I'm almost 30 and I have nothing to show for it. My life is pretty much a joke. It's okay though. When I think about it, I never really expected all that much out of it. Don't get me wrong, there are things that I want... but they just aren't attainable at the moment and I don't see the need to dwell...right now. I'm sure I'll change my mind in a day or so and start freaking out again about how much I want children. Who knows.
Jason and I are back together. Ish. Whatever the hell "ish" means. I'm pretty sure that just means that he doesn't particularly want me... but he doesn't want anyone else to have me either, and he was tired of my incessant whining so he'll just go with it for now. I'm oddly okay with that. Although I don't know why because it sounds awful and most of the time I don't even really care... which leads me to my next thing...
My medication, is awesome. I feel a WHOLE lot better.. and I've been told by several people that I seem a lot better. I don't freak out as easily and when I do it's not as bad. I still care about things, which is new for medication and me... but not as much as I did before. Which is good because I felt things ENTIRELY too strongly before. Things happen and I'm just like eh.. whatever. It's nice. We still aren't done adjusting but my doctor gave me a break this month because they were giving me headaches. We were increasing every two weeks, I go back on May first for my next increase, but I've been on the same dosage for a month now, and it's been alright, the headaches stopped. The only thing I've really noticed that... not really worries or concerns me.... it's more just like... "hmm.. okay?" if that makes sense? is that... I'm sucking my thumb a LOT more than before. I had cut down a lot from when I was younger.. pretty much only did it when watching tv or if I got really upset... but now... I've gone back to sleeping with my thumb in my mouth, and about 80% of the time during the day I don't even notice at first that it's there... and then I do and i'm all wth? Nearly constantly... even right now... it's REALLY bothering me that I can't have my thumb in my mouth. I'm not sure what it is? It's always been a comfort thing for me... I suck my thumb, and sipper... but lately I need more comforting? Or something? It just really bothers me to NOT be doing it.... I don't know what's up with that. Feels wrong not to.
So Jason and I went to the Dallas World Aquarium for my birthday. It was downright AWESOME. I had a lot of fun with him, as usual. We're going to the museum here at some point for this awesome dinosaur expo. Should be good. :) but we went to the aquarium, Applebee's, and Traders Village. It was a lot of fun.
So Heather told me yesterday about this place that gives loans even if you have bad credit, and it helps your credit. Well, there were things I needed to do and definitely needed the money, and my credit sure needs help... so I called yesterday to get a loan. I was super surprised they accepted me, but they did! Not a whole lot, but it's okay because what I got was enough, I can afford the monthly payment, and it's going to help my credit which is awesome. Sooo there's that.
Probably going to have a new kitten in a few weeks. 6 of my parents cats are/were pregnant. MoMo had the CUTEST kittens! and they're so sweet...once you catch them. Lol. I was going to keep this one I named Hades, but he didn't make it. So there's Reaper and Butterbean. Reaper is BEAUTIFUL... he has a black head, and this his body like... ombre's into a really light gray down the rest of his body. And then Butterbean is a tabby, and he's SO sweet. He loves the loves. Lol. I loves the babies <3 lol.
Puck is doing good, he just turned 3. He's probably going to be pretty pissed when I bring in another cat, but he'll get over it. Lol. He could use a friend anyway. I know he gets lonely sometimes.
I think that's about everything. At least I don't remember anything else. :) so, I go now. TTFN! lol.
Oh, on another note I wanna add... It's really nice, knowing that not every day is going to be horrible. I've felt so bad, for so long... this is really strange, to feel okay most of the time. But I like it. It's nice to wake up and not be absolutely miserable. I feel pretty good today, and I feel even better knowing that most days feel like this now. I'm not 100% better by any means, but life is at the very least tolerable now... and it's nice.
Brandi
